My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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