I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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