The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
