he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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