wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
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