Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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