Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize