I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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