Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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