sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize