If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
