The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
