2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
