There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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