My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My vagina is very pro this idea
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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