i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
