And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
