i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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