I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
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I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
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i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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