how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize