By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
