Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
