I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
