I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
