his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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