Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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