Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

I faked an abortion last night.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame

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(217): View more from Illinois

i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed

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(914): View more from New York

He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?

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(708): View more from Illinois

If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later

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(425): View more from Washington

I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge

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(253): View more from Washington

I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I see more hoeing in ur future

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