Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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