Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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