Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize