i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize