Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
No subtext here. People are naked.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
