We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
