I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
