You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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