Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
