Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
