i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize