okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
