THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
