I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
