He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
