All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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