i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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