I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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