Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
