If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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