hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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