i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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