There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
