Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
