i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
