just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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