The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
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you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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