So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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