i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize