return my video game
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
