Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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