My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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