Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
