Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How does one acquire holy water?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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